


I Used To Know You When We Were Young (You Were In All My Dreams)

by cecilia095



Category: New Girl
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Chicago (City), F/M, Gen, Road Trips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-25
Updated: 2016-02-25
Packaged: 2018-05-23 04:05:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6104365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cecilia095/pseuds/cecilia095
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Jessica, I need your help." <b>AU.</b></p>
            </blockquote>





	I Used To Know You When We Were Young (You Were In All My Dreams)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I'm back. With yet ANOTHER AU. Are you all sick of them already or can I just keep going and never stop? Anyhow. This one takes place in the college years because I've always wanted to try my hand at something like this.
> 
> \--
> 
> Title comes from the song "Hackensack" by Fountains Of Wayne.

It isn't until spring of Freshman Year that Nick knocks on her dorm room door.

That's when everything changes.

—

"No, we're not interested in playing beer pong with you in the lounge until 1 A.M., sorry."

His breath is hitched, and he looks like he's about to cry, and he doesn't even have any beer on him. 

"Jessica, I need your help," he says, and she asks how he knows her name. "My best friend thinks your roommate is hot, and then he did some research, and by _research_ I mean 'Facebook stalking', and -- Okay, no, that's not the point. You have a car, don't you?"

Jess squints her eyes. Ah, of course,  _the car_. She knew she should've left it at home in Portland, but her mom was all, "The college campus might not have that almond milk you like, sweetie!", so her blue, beatdown Volvo came with her to college and has seen the parking lot of one-too-many fancy LA supermarkets. 

"I... do. What's your interest in my car?"

"My dad just passed away, and I have to get home for the funeral, but I'm too broke to afford a last-minute flight and I also don't have a car. I'll pay you in gas money. Sort of. Do you accept payment in -- in beer? I have tons of that in my room."

"Of course you do," she says coldly, but then her eyes lighten up and she grabs him by the wrist. "I'm -- I'm sorry about your dad. Are you okay?"

He takes this long breath before he says, "Y-Yeah.", and then Jess says she doesn't believe him. "Okay, no, I don't know. He was kind of a dick, but he was also my dad, and I loved him. Just -- Can I use your car?"

"No one else on this campus has a car?", she asks through gritted teeth, but then she remembers  _his dad_ , and the fact that he looks like he's about to break down at her door. "Fine, but I'm coming with, because I don't trust you."

He narrows his eyes at her, but then he says, "Fair point. But to  _Chicago_? With a bunch of my crying, mourning, loud-mouth relatives?"

She shrugs. "Well... yeah. It's kind of my car."

"Again: Fair point. But Schmidt and Winston are really good drivers, and we'll all take turns, and we'll even vacuum out all of the crumbs we'll probably get all over your car after we're done with it."

"What's a 'Schmidt and Winston'? Whatever it is, I don't trust 'em. I'm coming, and so is my roommate Cece, and we'll just hide from your crazy relatives until after the funeral."

He breathes out this sigh of relief, and then he reaches his hand out to grab onto hers, shaking it. "I'm Nick, by the way."

The ends of her lips curl, and she shakes his hand back. "I know. My roommate and I might've Facebook stalked you and your friends once or twice."

—

Everyone races to pack, because they need to leave by 5 A.M. if they want to make it to Chicago in time for Nick's dad's funeral. 

"This is how we're spending our first spring break," Cece says flatly, and Jess is too busy shoving a duffel bag at her to answer. "Great. Awesome. Fantastic."

"What? It was either this or spend the week up at my dad's lake house with his new girlfriend Ashley Berkman. I think this might be a better time."

Cece rolls her eyes, but she unzips her duffel bag and starts shoving balled-up clothes into it. "Ashley Berkman. Oh. _Ashley Berkman_?! The one we went to high school with? The one who is literally like... two years older than us? Isn't she a stripper now?"

"Yes, and she's also my dad's new girlfriend. Do you see my point?"

Cece nods, and then Jess grabs her own duffel bag and zips it shut. "How many dresses is  _too many_ dresses?", she asks Cece.

"Why are you bringing  _dresses_ , Jessica? We're not going to the funeral. We're going to like... I don't know. We'll ditch the guys and go find a lake or something. Does Chicago have those?"

Jess ignores Cece, and then she checks the time on her phone. "Shoot. It's already 4:30. Nick says we need to leave in a half hour."

Cece throws on this oversized UCLA hoodie and leggings, and then she throws an extra hoodie in Jess's direction. 

Jess catches it and slips it on. "Are we forgetting anything?"

Cece laughs sarcastically. "Our sanity? Why the hell are we hanging out with three  _duds_ , anyway? Kyle and Spencer invited us back to the Bay Area for spring break. Remind me why aren't we going there?"

"His dad died, Ceec," Jess argues. "Your dad died once, too. Maybe you two can bond over that fact and really like...  _connect_."

"Ha. Connect. With him. Jess, he didn't come to our dorm looking for  _me_ ," Cece says, and now she's doing that thing where she wiggles her eyebrows because she thinks she's  _so_ right and Jess loves Cece but Jess hates Cece when she does this.

Jess clears her throat, and then she double-checks her dorm to see if they're forgetting anything. "Let's go. Nick and the guys are waiting for us."

—

They all meet up in the student parking lot, and Nick helps Jess pack the trunk of her Volvo to the brim with luggage.

"Who the hell brought three bags?", she says when she counts them. "Cece! I told you to bring  _one_ bathing suit because we  _might_ go to a lake.  _Might_."

"Those aren't hers..." It's Nick's best friend Schmidt, and he looks ashamed for like, five seconds, but then he says, "I couldn't leave campus without my body gelato."

Winston slams his own, barely-heavy duffel bag into the trunk on top of everyone else's. "It's true. Dude goes through  _way_ too much body gelato. I'm Winston, by the way. Nick didn't tell me you two were so..."

"Hot?" Schmidt intervenes, and Jess blushes because she's not exactly used to being called 'hot', and then Cece snickers and says something about how she can't  _wait_ to be stuck in a car with Schmidt all week.

"Man, don't ruin this," Nick warns Schmidt, hitting him on the arm. "Sorry. Not that -- Not that you guys aren't -- You're hot, appealing, _super_   _hot_ , whatever, but -- Never mind."

Jess lets her hand brush Nick's for a second, without meaning to, and then she asks, "Should you drive us out of here?"

"I can do that," he says earnestly, and then he climbs into the driver's side and tells Jess to take the passenger's. "Since you don't trust me, and all."

—

Jess is a little nervous when Nick pulls out of the school and onto the highway and onto the I-405 N. Mostly because of the driving, partly because the only boy she's been around before is Spencer, and they didn't even get past second base.

Now she's hanging out in a car on some strange highway with three,  _three_ , and even though Schmidt's obviously drooling over Cece and Winston's been texting this chick Aly from school the whole time, there's Nick, and Nick might make her a little nervous.

"So..." She toes off her ballet flats and lets them rest on the floor of the passenger side. Nick's eyes are on the road, and he looks sleepy, but she kind of trusts him. "No one else you know has a car, huh?"

He laughs, and his grip on the wheel loosens. "Jess, -- Wait. I can call you 'Jess', right?"

Jess nods. "Absolutely."

"Okay. Cool.  _Jess_ , I have two friends." He nods to Schmidt and Winston in the backseat. "Everyone I know says you're super nice, so."

"Everyone you know, huh." Jess laughs, her tongue between her teeth, and then she cracks her window down for some air. "I don't have many friends either. Just Cece. We actually grew up together, so she's permanently stuck with me."

"Winston grew up with me too. He might've been closer to my dad than I am. I mean, he calls him 'Pop Pop'."

Jess wrinkles her nose. "Are you okay, Nick?", she asks in a low voice, so low no one in the backseat can hear.

"What?" He's laughing, and he grabs onto the wheel tighter. "Yeah, Jess, I'm fine, thanks."

Jess says, "I don't believe you. What, your dad  _just died_ , and you're like... fine about it? Talk to me."

Nick merges into the right lane before he answers her, and when he does, he just says, "It's not worth it."

"He's  _your dad_ ," she says with emphasis, and Nick laughs. "Fine, you don't have to talk to me about it, but if -- no, _when_ you want to, I'm all ears."

—

It's a little after 7 A.M. when they pull over for something to eat. Nothing fancy, because they're all kind of broke college students. They settle for French toast at this rundown diner, and they spend a half-hour crammed into a booth together talking (and not talking, mostly not talking).

"Your hand is on my leg," Cece says, and she drops her fork and rolls her eyes and glares at Schmidt, who's just laughing and blushing like an idiot.

"Schmidty, leave her alone, she doesn't wanna sleep with you," Nick says, and he reaches across the table to smack Schmidt on the top of the head. 

"Cece, stop it, he's not bothering you," Jess warns, looking over at her best friend. "If you two can't get along two hours in, how the hell are we going to make it to Chicago?"

Nick excuses himself to go to the bathroom, and then he nods over at Jess. "You wanna come?"

"To the bathroom? With you?", she asks, and everyone at the table is laughing. A few seconds later, she gets up anyway and follows Nick to the single bathroom in the way back of the diner.

"Schmidt's an idiot," he says, turning around to face Jess. "I'm sorry about him. He doesn't know how to keep his cool around pretty girls because he grew up fat and weird, but we love him anyway."

"It's fine, Cece secretly likes it, and she probably thinks he's hot too. She just pretends she's bothered by him for her own entertainment. Hey Nick, why did you need me to go to the bathroom with you?"

Nick shoves his hands in the pockets of his jeans, and he clears his throat. He looks like he hasn't slept (or showered) in days -- 'Dead Dad Pass', Jess heard Winston call it before. There's a bit of rough scruff on his face, and Jess is pretty sure his t-shirt is inside out, but she doesn't comment on anything.

"I wanted to thank you. Not in front of the others. I just -- I always saw ya' around, and I never could come up with a good enough excuse to talk to you, but then my dad died and you had the Volvo, and -- Okay. That sounds bad. It's not. I didn't. Never mind. Forget I said anything."

Jess takes a breath, and she's not sure whether or not laughing would be appropriate right now, so she holds one in. "Nick," she says, and she says his name as sincerely as someone can say the name 'Nick', "it's okay. I like doing things for people. That's just who I am."

Before Nick goes into the bathroom, he lets his hand run down her forearm and he smiles at her, the first time she's seen him genuinely smile since he knocked on her door at midnight. 

"You're cool, Jess, and one day, I'm gonna pay you back for all of this."

—

Jess's car starts to stall an hour after the diner. "Ugh. It's a piece of crap!", she yells over Nick frustratingly twisting the key in and out of the ignition. They're pulled over on some patch of grass in the middle of the highway, and everyone's scared even if they don't say anything.

"I don't trust Volvos," says Schmidt, and he's panicking in the backseat and trying to dial a mechanic or a  _something_ to come and help them. "We'll die out here! Quick, hold me Cece, I'm about to have a panic attack!"

Winston sets down his phone and nods. "Yeah, Cece, you might actually want to hold him. A Schmidt Panic Attack is way worse than a real one."

Cece just rolls her eyes and holds her phone out of the window for better reception. 

"Hey, okay, just -- There." Nick twists the key in the ignition once more and the car starts and Jess and Winston cheer. 

—

Jess pops in this CD right before they pull over to switch. (It's been hours and Nick's hands are cramping and Schmidt likes road trips, or whatever.)

"This is such a lame song, but I like it," she says, and she starts to bob her head along to a song that might've been cool twenty-something years ago.

" _Breakfast at Tiffany's_ ," Nick says, and he's smiling and he's watching Jess ridiculously sing along to this terrible song from the corner of his eye. "I made a Sexy Mix with this song on it, once."

"No. No you didn't. I don't believe you." 

Nick scrunches his nose and pulls the car over, and then he climbs into the back. "Jess," he says, nodding his head at her. "Don't you wanna sleep for a bit?"

Cece throws a Jess a knowing look, and then she goes, "It's fine. I'll torture myself and sit up front next to Schmidt. Whatever."

So Jess climbs into the backseat with Nick and an already-asleep Winston. Nick throws this quilt over all three of them, and then maybe it's Jess's imagination or whatever, but she feels Nick scoot in closer to her. 

A few seconds pass as Schmidt starts up the car again, and Jess can almost fall asleep back here, her leg touching Nick's leg like this. She doesn't know why, because she barely knows him, she barely knows anything about him, but she knows she feels  _okay_ , and she also knows she might make Nick feel okay too.

"I'm not okay," Nick whispers, and Jess snaps out of her almost-asleep state and widens her eyes. "I'm... My dad, I mean. I'm not okay about it."

"How -- How did he die?", she asks lowly, and she pats his knee. 

"Heart attack. But the bastard had it coming. He was like... a terrible person. Mostly a Con-Man, but he did some other sketchy stuff too. Just... don't tell Winston, 'cause it'll break his heart. Walt was his hero."

Jess wrinkles up her nose and goes, "Was he yours?", and Nick shakes his head 'no'. "That's okay."

—

The next time they stop it's dinnertime, maybe, they don't know. For lunch, they all shared this Family-Sized box of Cheez-Its, and luckily Jess had extra water bottles in her trunk.

Nick grunts when Schmidt pulls over the car and says, "Schmidt, we can't keep stopping every time you have to pee. They make the side of the road for a reason. And penises. Use 'em."

"Cece has to pee too!", Schmidt yells, pointing accusingly at Cece who pulls her headphones out and rolls her eyes.

" _I_ would've peed on the side of the road like a man," she says nonchalantly, and then she hops out of the backseat and swings open Schmidt's door. "Come on princess, I'll walk you to the bathroom."

"Those two," says Winston, stepping out of the car next to Jess and Nick, "are totally going to bone by the end of the trip."

"Probably," Nick says, rubbing his lips together. "You okay, Jess?"

She doesn't even realize he's looking over at her, and then she says, "What? Oh. I'm fine."

"I know this isn't... ideal," Nick says to only Jess, and Winston interrupts him to ask, "You want any gas station churros? I'm kinda hungry."

Nick nods and says, "Duh", and then he hands the gas station attendant a crumpled twenty-dollar bill from his pocket. Jess watches in silence, pressed up against the passenger side of her car. 

"I know this isn't how you wanted to spend your first spring break as a freshman."

"What -- What makes you say that?", Jess asks, blinking a few times. She plays with the fabric on the end of her hoodie and doesn't think about how nervous looking at Nick is making her right now.

"Cece was talking about it before," he says, and he almost looks a little sorry when Jess pretends not to know what he's talking about. "Come on, Jess. Kyle? Spencer? Bay Area and an empty beach house? How _lame_ hanging out with me and Schmidt and Winston is?"

"Ugh. Kyle's a  _jerk_. He booty calls Cece whenever he feels like it and then "forgets" to text her back."

"And Spencer?", he asks curiously, pocketing his hands.

"We had... a thing," she says slowly, and she pockets her hands too.

"Oh. A thing. That's cool." He gulps, and Jess pretends not to notice.

"But we don't have a thing anymore," she says. "He couldn't even ask me to be his girlfriend."

"Is that -- Is that what you want?" He's looking at her like a lost kid in a supermarket, and he takes his hands out of his pockets, tells the gas station attendant to keep the change. They're both still leaned up against the car, he and Jess. "I mean... college is about casualty, right?"

"For people like Cece and Kyle, maybe," she laughs. "I want something  _real_. It doesn't have to be fancy. Just  _real_."

—

They stay in a motel in The Actual Middle Of Nowhere on Night Number One, all five of them cramped together in one room because it's all they could afford when they scrapped all of their money together.

They check in at midnight even though check-in time stopped after 11 P.M. The guys snuck in a few beers and all five of them sit together on the (disgusting) carpet of this shitty motel floor and cling their bottles together and chant, "Spring break!"

"We should tell stories," says Winston mid-sip. "Like... I barely know you guys."

He's talking about Cece and Jess, who both kind of raise their eyebrows at him, and Cece goes, "Well, we don't know you either."

"I'm Winston. I'm super smooth with the ladies -- unlike these clowns. And that's all you need to know about me."

"Untrue!", Nick and Schmidt yell in unison. 

"I AM THE SMOOTHEST!", says Schmidt.

"You cried over a Fergie song in the car before," Cece says, and then she teasingly grabs onto one of his wrists and squeezes them.

"And you, Cecelia, held me while I did," he says back, and she snickers at him and then he makes a comment about how she  _liked it_ and she says, "Maybe I did".

Nick nudges Jess on the elbow and says, "Young love, right?"

She wiggles her eyebrows at him and feels her cheeks get hot. "Riiight."

—

It's 2 A.M. and they have to be up in four hours to hit the road again if they want to make it to Chicago in time for the funeral. 

Jess rolls over and grabs onto Cece's arm and shakes her awake. "Hey," she whispers, and Cece mutters a tired, " _Whaaaaat_ , Jess?" back.

"Okay, so you're gonna yell at me when I say this, but..."

Cece's sitting up now, and she reaches over to turn the lamp by she and Jess's bedside on, but Jess grabs her by the wrist and stops her.

"I kind of like these guys," Jess says. She means it. She likes every single one of them, and Spring Break isn't sucking so much, and being stuck in a cramped Volvo with all of them isn't sucking so much either. It makes Jess feel like she's part of something, and, well, she's never been a part of anything that wasn't like... a school choir before. It's kind of different, and it's definitely cool and new and it feels  _big_. (But she leaves that part out for Cece.)

Cece rubs her lips together and pats Jess on the lap. "I kind of like them too, babe, but you can't tell them I said that.  _Especially_ Schmidt."

"You two  _seriously_ need to get a room!", Jess whisper-yells. 

"We  _would've_ if you and Nick and Winston would've just let us sleep in the same bed."

"So it  _is_ happening!"

Cece rolls her eyes and goes, "No, but is it bad that I kind of want it to?"

Jess shakes her head and snakes an arm around Cece's waist and doesn't mention anything about Nick or how hot her cheeks get around him or that it's been less than a day and she's  _into him_ , or something like that.

She'll figure it out.

—

Nick drives them into the next state, and the next, and it's Whatever O'Clock when Jess reaches over and squeezes his knee. "Do you want to switch now?", she asks.

"It's okay, Jess," he says sincerely. He looks to the backseat and laughs at the fact that Cece and Schmidt and Winston are all asleep on each other like fallen dominoes.

He pulls over the car at this empty rest stop and shuts the car off and just looks at Jess for a second before he says anything. She feels her stomach turn, and she has no idea why he's making her this nervous, he's  _just_ some dude who knocked on her dorm room door in a panic at an ungodly hour one night. No big deal.

"My dad...", he starts, and Jess is taken by surprise. She widens her eyes and unbuckles her seatbelt and inches into him, comfortably stretching her feet up onto the dashboard. "My dad never taught me how to be a man, so I had to teach myself, and now I  _suck_."

"I -- I don't think you suck," she says back. She wiggles her toes and takes off the denim jacket she's wearing and throws it onto her lap like a blanket. 

"Jess, I'm gonna tell you something, but you can't laugh at me," he says.

"I promise." She holds out her pinky finger to him, and he starts to laugh at her, but she says, "Hey! A pinky swear never gets old."

"I," he says, locking his pinky onto Jess's, "am a virgin. And I think I've kissed maybe... Three girls? Ever? And I don't know how to ask a girl out and my mom thinks I'm going to end up either completely alone or marrying Schmidt. I'd rather the second option, because at least Schmidt lays out my clothes for me and makes me peanut butter and jelly sandwiches when I have a bad day, but like..."

Jess has to stifle a laugh, but she lifts her feet off of the dashboard and sits up with her legs folded underneath her, leaning her seat back but not too far back because Cece is sleeping right behind her. 

"But like... you don't want to marry Schmidt," she says like a statement, not a question.

"But I don't want to marry Schmidt! He's not my type!"

"What -- What  _is_ your type?", she asks, but she's nervous to.

Nick looks at her like he's never had to answer anything this serious in his entire life or something, and then he squints his eyes together and bites down on his lip and doesn't say anything, and it almost drives her crazy even though this practical stranger sitting in her Volvo in the middle of nowhere doesn't owe her anything.

"I... don't know," he says with hesitance. "Maybe someone'll come along and help me figure that out."

—

They don't pull over for the night. They just keep going, and going,  _and going_ , and everyone's beat. Winston pulls over onto a patch of grass on the highway and goes, "We're gonna have to make funeral arrangements for ol' Winnie next, y'all. I. Am.  _Dead_."

"Stop the car here!", says Jess from the backseat, and Winston keeps it parked and everyone steps out for a stretch and some air. Jess tugs the little cooler they've kept in the back this whole time out, but all that's left in it are some Little Debbie snacks, two flat beers, and a bunch of Capri Suns.

Cece grabs a blanket from the trunk and lays it out on this stretch of grass and doesn't even care if she looks like a weirdo laying out a picnic blanket in the middle of some random highway. (Usually, Cece would've cared.)

Winston holds out his phone as high as his arm can stretch and even though it's dark, he takes a picture of the entire group anyway. "Just so we remember, I guess," he says when the flash goes off.

"You know, three days ago, we didn't even know of each other," Jess says.

"Well, that's  _half-true_ , Jessica," says Schmidt, and then he goes on about how un-private Cece and Jess's Facebook pages actually are. 

"I don't know, it feels like... Like, don't you have this feeling that all of us were meant to be friends, or am I the only sentimental son of a bitch in this entire group?"

Everyone says Jess is the only sentimental son of a bitch in this entire group, but then Nick's eyes catch her eyes and he nods at her and gets a little red in the face. "I have that feeling too," he says, and he doesn't care if he sounds stupid or cheesy or like a sentimental son of a bitch. 

Five pouches of Capri Suns later and Winston excuses himself to go call that girl he's talking to and Cece and Schmidt are tonguing on a picnic blanket in the middle of some highway and Jess pretends she's tired and goes back to the car and Nick follows her with a fake yawn.

"Hey, Jess, wait," Nick calls out just before Jess can close the door to the driver's side. "Can I join?"

She nods, so Nick hops into the passenger side and closes the door and leans the seat back, his shoes on the dashboard. Jess scrunches her nose at that and then tells him to take his shoes off because they'll leave scuff marks on her already-kind-of-shitty little Volvo. He does, though. He toes off his shoes and his socks and sticks his bare feet up on Jess's dashboard and starts to laugh.

"I'm a virgin too," she says bluntly after a few seconds of silence, and Nick's laugh fades and he bites down on his lip and just gives her this look that she doesn't decipher. "No, like, I believe in the kind of love you'd see in a super crappy ripoff of a Nicholas Sparks movie. It's bad, and embarrassing, and I'm gonna cover my face now. Don't look at me!"

Jess lifts her denim jacket off of the seat beneath her and covers her face, but Nick pulls it away from her. "Hey. That's not -- Love isn't a bad thing, Jess, you're just -- You're not goin' for the right people."

"Well obviously. Spencer's a doorknob."

"So go for... I don't know. Not a doorknob! You're a beautiful girl, Jessica, and you're  _nice_. Like. You made sure all of us had our own quilts and you let me talk about my dad even though my feelings are all..."

"Twirly?", she asks, laughing with her tongue between her teeth.

"Twirly! Yeah. Good word, I think. I... actually don't know what 'twirly' means, but."

Jess leans her seat back and takes a deep breath and looks outside at her best friend who's still sucking face with Nick's best friend, and then she looks at Nick and her stomach sinks and she was never taught how to tell someone you'd like to kiss them.

"What I'm trying to say is: I like ya', Jess, and the right person will too, so much."

—

The rest of the trip flies -- mostly because everyone is too cranky to connect, to bond, to play Winston's annoying version of The License Plate Game. 

When they get to Chicago, to Nick's childhood home, his mom Bonnie runs out to Jess's car and races toward Nick and engulfs him in the biggest hug Jess has seen in months. "Nicky! My baby. Look at you. I'm so happy you're home. You're not leaving."

Nick hugs her back and then she starts to cry. "Come on, Ma, don't cry, it's okay. Ma, hey, look, I brought --"

Nick's mom nods knowingly and lets go of him to hold her arms out. "Winnie, Schmidt, it's good to see you two."

"And Jess and Cece," Nick says with a gulp, and then his mom narrows her eyes at the girls and goes, "I saw them, I just don't understand why they're here."

"They're my friends from school, Ma, don't look too much into it," he says, and he's not exactly lying. They ditched the whole 'finding a lake' thing, mostly because Cece would miss Schmidt because  _that's_ going on or whatever, but also because Jess secretly couldn't not be there for Nick.

—

"Nick Miller's childhood bedroom, huh?"

"My mom turned it into a half-office, half-Nick Miller Shrine when I moved out, so..."

Nick closes the door behind them, and it's the first time they've been alone since the night they bonded in the front seat of Jess's Volvo while everyone else was busy on the side of the highway. He looks a little tired and a little torn and a little like a lot is on his mind. 

Jess is in this pair of matching pajamas that Cece told her not to bring (but she did anyway,  _duh_ ), and her hair is in two braids and she just took her first hot shower in days. No one talked about where anyone was sleeping, but Cece and Schmidt called dibs on the guest room, and Winston is shacking up with Nick's sixteen-year-old brother Jamie for the night.

"Do you want to talk, Nick?", Jess asks sincerely, and Nick just waves a hand at her and points to the alarm clock by the bed. "I know, it's late, but who cares?"

"Jess, you care, you care  _so much_ , but just -- You don't have to take care of me, Jess, okay? I can take care of myself."

Jess sits on the end of the bed next to him, and she places her hands in her lap. "I know you can, but I also want to. You know. Take care of you. A little bit."

"Why?"

"Because there's a reason you knocked on my dorm room door, right?"

He looks nervous for a minute, but then he simply says, "Well... yeah."

"Exactly," she says. "So will you let me just take care of you and not complain about it?"

—

Jess barges right into the guest room and she wants to pretend to be surprised that Cece and Schmidt are naked under those sheets, but she just squeezes her eyes shut and throws a hand over her face and goes, "Get decent or fake it! I'm coming in."

"Jess, hey, I know -- I know you're pissed at me because now you're stuck sleeping next to Winston and I'm  _sure_ that can't be fun, but --"

"I'm not pissed at you," she says, and she takes a seat at the edge of the bed and almost sits on Schmidt's feet, accidentally. "Sorry, sorry!", she yells when Schmidt dramatically warns her. "Do you think I care about people too much?"

Schmidt huffs and tugs the sheet up higher over him and Cece, and then he raises a hand at Jess. "Can I answer that one?"

"Um. I mean. Sure?"

"Yes. You have this look in your eyes that says, "Let Me Fix You", and it's a little frightening. Also endearing. You have beautiful eyes."

"Thanks, Schmidt. Wait, do I -- Do I really have that look, though?"

Cece laughs and wrinkles her nose. "Ever since we were like... six. Yes. It was always comforting, though."

"I think...", Jess starts, and she inches in closer to Cece and Schmidt and they have to remind her that they're not wearing clothes underneath there. Jess backs up a few inches and then she nods. "I care about Nick a lot, and I think it scares him. Has anyone ever... cared about Nick before?"

Schmidt snickers. "You mean anyone besides me? Probably not. His mom likes him. His cousin Bob thinks he's decent. But do they  _care_ about his  _wellbeing_? Probably not as much as I do. Ask me any Nicholas Fact, and I'll one-hundred percent know it. Ready? Go."

"Schmidt, shut up, that's not what she's asking. She's --" Cece's face drops, and then she gives Jess  _that look_. You know, the one where she wiggles her eyebrows because she thinks she's always right. "Do you -- Do you  _like_ Nick?"

"I mean... Gah. Guh.  _Whaaa_. No. Maybe. Cece! Ahh."

"Wait, for real?", Schmidt asks, and his eyes get all wide.

"Well... I mean... Just... I'm gonna leave now. Continue your sex."

"And start yours!", Schmidt yells, whistling. "You know, I mapped out Nick's Life Plan on my computer once, and Wife #1 was 5'4" and had bangs. I'm basically a psychic. This is the best day."

—

"Whoa, hey, are you  _crying_?"

Nick wipes underneath his eyes with the end of his crappy t-shirt, and then he looks up at her with these sad, puffy red eyes. "I might've been. Shh."

"No, I won't tell anyone, I just -- I have nowhere to sleep, so even if you want to keep crying, I won't say anything, I'll just sleep on that beanbag chair and let you sob away. You're talking to a Fellow Crier." She points at the red beanbag chair in the corner and Nick is crying but he's shaking his head at her, and then he stands up from his bed.

"I kind of want you to sleep in here," he says, and Jess feels her chest get tight and her cheeks get hot, and everything is coming together even though nothing's really happening. "Like. In my bed."

Jess just raises an eyebrow, her arms folded underneath her chest. "Um. Like. With you?"

"Well... yeah," he says, and now he's laugh-crying and mostly laughing, and he gets back into bed and pats the spot next to him for her.

Jess falls against his body, but she doesn't let herself exactly touch him. His breath is in her hair though, and he feels comfortable and warm even though they're not holding each other. Maybe spooning is just a thing that happens in the movies. Whatever. It's fine.

After a few minutes pass, Nick whispers something to her, and Jess has to inch in a little closer to hear him. "I said, 'I'm glad you're here'," he clarifies, and Jess is glad she's facing the wall so he can't see her blush. 

Another few minutes pass, and Jess rolls over onto her side and Nick is still wide awake. "Hey," she whispers, and she takes a hand up and touches the side of his face without any rhyme or reason. He shaved all of that stubble off, and his face is baby-smooth and fresh with tears. "I'm glad I'm here too, Nick."

He doesn't say anything back, but he does inch in and close his eyes and lock his lips onto hers in a way she's never been kissed. He brings up one of his hands and pushes her bangs off of her forehead, and then their kisses deepen. Nick's hands slide up and down her waist and Jess holds onto the sides of Nick's face so tight because this is what she's wanted all along.

She moans his name against his lips, and then they scatter to get undressed under the sheets, and it's spontaneous and it's a little messy -- almost like the night Nick knocked on Jess's dorm room door.

—

Jess isn't a virgin anymore, and neither is Nick, and they don't talk about what a good  _someone_ they are for each other after it happens, but it happens and they know. She holds his hand during the entire funeral, and when he gives the eulogy, Nick looks right at her when he says, "Sometimes, all you can let yourself get out of a bad thing is a good thing", and he wrote that himself.

—

"Nicky," his mom says after the funeral, after everyone is sitting teary-eyed and sad together in some small-town Chicago church Nick's been to like... twice in his life. "I'm glad you have someone who takes care of you."

 


End file.
